Mediation has plenty of advantages. Many couples go through divorce mediation because it works.

First, there’s the divorce mediation cost. Compared to a court case, mediation is much less expensive than hiring two attorneys to litigate, file motions, attend hearings in court. Mediation is one way to reduce the cost of the legal process.

Second, divorce mediation is confidential. There is no record of what you and your spouse discuss in the mediation meetings.

In mediation, you and your spouse have control as you both choose how you want to divide your assets.  You are in control, rather than a judge who will make your divorce fit rigid legal standards. Of course, you are also encouraged to obtain a lawyer to review your mediation agreement, and they can provide advice.

Another positive aspect of divorce mediation is that it teaches open communication between you and your spouse. The mediation process will begin a working relationship between you and your spouse in the future.

Finally, mediation very often ends in a successful division of assets and responsibilities between former partners. Further, it allows the parties to work out a parenting plan that is customized to their lives rather than the plan the court hands out. It helps fast-track your divorce, as well as, it is much quicker to mediate your divorce and agree to your terms rather than litigate the issues in court.

Although divorce mediation sounds like the best route when splitting from your partner, it won’t work for every separating couple.

A reason to take your divorce to court is if your spouse has a history of lying. For example, let’s say you suspect they have hidden some of their assets so that you get less than you deserve in the divorce. Again, the only way to make mediation work is if both parties are open and honest — if your ex is incapable of doing so, then take your divorce through the legal system instead.

On that note, some ex-partners will use mediation as a way to delay the divorce proceedings. Court-mandated meetings will force them to push things along, though, so don’t choose mediation if you think your spouse will manipulate the system.

Ultimately, these situations make up a small portion of divorces. Most couples can — and should — choose mediation over legal divorce proceedings for all of the reasons mentioned in the above section.

Not every couple can mediate.  Lying about financial issues and hiding assets is a reason parties may not be able to mediate. Parties must be open and honest with one another and of one spouse already distrusts the other spouse it is not a solid foundation for mediation. Situations such as these may require court involvement and litigation.

Additionally, some spouses attempt to manipulate the mediation process in an attempt to delay the divorce proceedings. Do not choose mediation if you think your spouse will or will try to manipulate the system.

Ultimately, these situations where mediation will not be successful make up a small portion of divorces. Most couples can choose mediation over a litigated divorce proceeding for all of the reasons mentioned in the above section.

You may think that divorce mediation may be right for you and your spouse. Consequently, you are now wondering how to get started with the process.

Make sure your spouse is on board with the idea.  Read articles posted on ps-law.com explaining mediation. Contact Anna and talk to her or meet with her to see if working with Anna will work for both spouses.

The couple's ability to get their "homework" done is a factor in the length of the mediation.  The quicker the parties can get their homework done, the more efficient the mediation is.

Anna's motto is she can only work as fast as the slowest person in the room.

• Division of assets and liabilities
• Custody and parenting Support: child support and/or spousal support
• Health insurance and uninsured health expenses
• Education of children, including postsecondary education and in some situations
• Life insurance

The most significant difference is who determines the outcome, i.e., the terms of the “settlement” agreement.  In a litigated divorce in court, the judge will make the final decision.  In a mediated divorce, the couple themselves will make the final decision. 

With the assistance of an experienced mediator, the divorcing couple will work together to design an agreement specific to their needs.  The parties will work together to create a document that reflects their agreements, rather than having their lawyers litigating and arguing for a "best deal" for their client and using a boilerplate agreement.

Divorce mediation can be therapeutic if the couples allow it to be.  During the mediation session, the parties are encouraged to communicate and are free to voice their concerns directly to one another in the presence of the mediator who is trained to assist the parties. Working through issues directly with your spouse will likely result in better problem-solving in the future. Parties with children together will benefit from working together. The ability to co-parent is critical as it may avoid future potential conflicts.